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PLEASE NOTE: My songs are never created with the intention of being 'thinspiration'. I am, and will always be, a pro-recovery advocate. With my music, I aim to reflect the hidden inner struggles of psychological disorders by externalising the internal. Please use caution if you feel you are easily provoked, and please always take care of yourself.
Beauty In The Darkness is a song from my latest album under the same name. This track was inspired by a comment on one of my other songs, which made me realise that there are elements of beauty within the darkness of the disorder - for example, the intense euphoria and feeling of achievement experienced through weight loss. The lyrics convey how the ED tries to seduce the sufferer by playing on insecurities and fears from childhood, or from peer pressure, and offers a misleading sense of comfort and security.
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All my music is available to download and stream via these links:
◆ iTunes: https://music.apple.com/gb/artist/elysiansoul/710789705
◆ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/27B7Tp3ndcNU5kzlFT4GY5
◆ Amazon Music: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=ElysianSoul
◆ Bandcamp: https://elysiansoul.bandcamp.com/
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FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/ElysianSoulMusic
INSTAGRAM: @elysiansoulmusic
SOUNDCLOUD: https://soundcloud.com/elysiansoul
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Lyrics:
Strange kind of phantom,
Where did you come from?
Lighting up the sky,
Just like a storm.
You’re a thing of beauty,
Full of positivity,
Lost in a reverie,
Just begun.
But how can you feel so pretty,
When your friends are iddy biddy,
And they treat you with such pity,
When your back is turned.
Let’s show ‘em what we’re made of,
Become what they’re afraid of,
Caught in this charade, oh
Lesson learned.
So come and spend a little time,
Inside my mind,
Where flames of the past,
Will reignite,
Your fears and your ghosts,
Come out to play tonight,
Take hold of my hand,
And hold it tight.
I’m more than a sickness,
I’m more than you know,
Within this psychosis,
Far down below,
Under the surface,
The bad things go,
Deep in the darkness,
I’ll hold you close.
Thou shall not disobey,
Thou shan’t be lead astray,
Thou shall not eat no more than one quartered apple everyday,
I believe in control,
No chaos in my world,
I’m perfect and I’ll work real hard and starve real hard to make it work.
And I will never tell,
This life a living hell,
Voices after voices, rushing noises when I feel unwell,
Willpower and success,
My bones they never rest,
Pushing you and pushing me and put my body to the test.
Cut my hair and buy new clothes,
Take laxatives and overdose,
I won’t give up or give in ’til I’m skeletal and comatose,
’Til I can see my bones,
Jutting right through my clothes,
Kneeling on the bathroom floor, two fingers shoved right down my throat.
But I will never lie,
But I will always lie,
'Hungry? I’m not hungry, I ate earlier,' my alibi,
Thou shall not ever sin,
Thou cannot be too thin,
Feel the beauty in these words as you slide the knife against your skin.
Against your skin.
Beauty in the darkness,
Beauty in the darkness,
You know I’m so heartless,
I know how you love this.
I can feel your weakness,
We can rise above this,
Trembling and restless,
Give in to the sickness.
Thou shall not disobey,
Thou shan’t be lead astray,
Thou shall not eat no more than one quartered apple everyday,
I believe in control,
No chaos in my world,
I’m perfect and I’ll work real hard and starve real hard to make it work.
And I will never tell,
This life a living hell,
Voices after voices, rushing noises when I feel unwell,
Willpower and success,
My bones they never rest,
Pushing you and pushing me and put my body to the test.
So come and spend a little time,
Inside my mind,
Where flames of the past,
Will reignite,
Your fears and your ghosts,
Come out to play tonight,
Take hold of my hand,
And hold it tight.
I’m more than a sickness,
I’m more than you know,
Within this psychosis,
Far down below,
Under the surface,
The bad things go,
Deep in the darkness,
I’ll hold you close.
So come and spend a little time,
Inside my mind,
Where flames of the past,
Will reignite.
Your fears and your ghosts,
Come out to play tonight,
Take hold of my hand,
And hold it tight.
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