Have you ever noticed when you're by the sea
The things that you can do there with impunity?
If we did the same things when we're up in town
Moral Mrs Grundy on her face would wear a frown,
Father, mother, all the family
Travel down to have a little paddle in the sea
Mother takes her stockings off upon the sandy shore
And shows a lot of linen that she'd never shown before.
Chorus: You can do a lot of things at the seaside
That you can't do in town.
Fancy seeing mother with her legs all bare
Paddling in the fountain, in Trafalgar Square,
Bobbing up and down in the water
'Twould make the policemen frown.
You can do a lot of things at the sea side
That you can't do in town.
Bashful little maidens, modest as can be,
Like to have a nice splash when they're by the sea.
In their bathing dresses, pretty frills and bows,
You see more for for nothing than you see in penny shows.
They'll mix-bathe 'mongst all the fellows there,
Lots of people looking on but still they never care.
They'll splash each other for a lark and smack each other, too.
It's most surprising by the sea, what modest maidens do.
Chorus: You can do a lot of things at the seaside
That you can't do in town.
When it's wet in town she lifts her skirt and shows,
A little bit of ankle and some nice silk hose.
If fellows look at her silk stockings,
She'll say, 'How rude!' and frown.
You can do a lot of things at the seaside,
That you can't do in town!
