Don said to Rudy, “Hey, throw me a presser”
Rudy said, “Anything you say, Prez, yessir!”
Don said, “Now!” Rudy said, “Sure!
What should I tell ‘em?” And Don said, “You’re
Gonna go out there with a straight face and tell ‘em I won.”
Now Rudy said, “Where ya want this shillin’ done?”
“Four Seasons Total Landscaping, son”
Four Seasons Total Landscaping, son
Don tweeted “Big event at the Four Seasons”
Tweeted, then deleted for mysterious reasons
Don said, “Go!” Rudy, he went
Wondering if the president meant
Four Seasons, the hotel, or the other one
Between the porno store and the crematorium
Four Seasons Total Landscaping, son
Four Seasons Total Landscaping, son
“Go out and tell ‘em we got a path
Never mind fairness, never mind math
Election fraud, that’s a thing we can fix
If we just get the voting out of politics
Go get ‘em, Rudy, while I hide from everyone”
Rudy said, “Yeah Prez, consider it done
At Four Seasons Total Landscaping, son”
Four Seasons Total Landscaping, son
Rudy, he looked at the places next door
A crematorium and a porno store
As metaphors go, that one’s hard to ignore
But somehow he managed, and he told the press corps,
“This race ain’t over, people, it’s just begun”
Press said, “They called PA, Rudy, the race is run
Here at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, son
You’re totally hosed, Rudy, pardon the pun
At Four Seasons Total Landscaping, son
Sounds like you’re
Spreading manure
At Four Seasons Total Landscaping, son”
Four Seasons Total Landscaping, son